Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Choosing Between Achievement n Ambition ...

Gosh...its AUGUST....4 months more for 2012..im in my late 20s...im still wondering the right path in my career and life..i wish...before 2012 i have a clearer picture of what i want in my life..

Have you ever felt you are falling between two stools — one, the stool of ambition and the other of achievement? I have. Where does this feeling originate? How do we counter it?well these are d info that i found and i would like to share with others...

Ambition arises because of desire and want; also because we are capable. Yet, when we do not give full rein to our potential and stop short of harnessing it, we stumble. Thus, when we set out to gain and do not, we feel short-changed.

Some of the crippling emotions of regret, lack of faith in self and discounting cause ambition to be misplaced and achievement to falter.

One of the ways to combat this is to learn to be content, to be at peace with what one has. When such a stance is assumed there is less stress and the gap between the extremes of ambition and achievement narrow.

Sven Goran Erickson, the famous erstwhile English football coach captures the four stages of ambition and achievement.

When ambition or desire is much larger and achievement very small, the gap is wide. There is a sense of losing out. When achievement is larger and ambition small, there is a feeling of lack of joy in the achievement. One does not feel stretched. When both achievement and ambition are small, there is disappointment and perhaps apathy. Finally, when ambition and achievement are matched, there is fulfilment.

The way out of this impasse of mismatched ambition and achievement is to have realistic desires and be content with what one achieves.

If we recognise our humanness and, therefore, our strengths and limitations, we aspire appropriately. In doing so, we will be rewarded with balanced achievement.








Friday, June 17, 2011

Your Favorite Color: What it Says About You


Whether we’re a vibrant Purple, or a peaceful Blue, our color preferences are a key to understanding our personalities. Find out what this color expert has to say about your favorite color. What does it reveal about who you really are?

White: Symbolic of purity, innocence and naivete, white has strong connotations of youth and purity. If you are an older person, your preference for white could indicate a desire for perfection and impossible ideals, maybe an attempt to recapture lost youth and freshness. It may also symbolize a desire for simplicity or the simple life.

Red: The color of strength, health, and vitality, Red is often the color chosen by someone outgoing, aggressive, vigorous and impulsive—or someone who would like to be! It goes with an ambitious nature but those who choose it can be abrupt at times, determined to get all they can out of life, quick to judge people and take sides. Red people are usually optimistic and can’t stand monotony; they are rather restless and not at all introspective, so they may be unaware of their own shortcomings. They find it hard to be objective and may blame others for any mishaps. Quiet people with a preference for red may feel the need for the warmth , strength and life-giving qualities of the color, or they blanket their true feelings under a sober exterior. Red is usually chosen by people with open and uncomplicated natures, with a zest for life.

Maroon: Harsh experience has probably matured the Maroon person into someone likable and generous. It is often a favorite color of someone who has been battered by life but has come through. It indicates a well-disciplined Red personality—one who has had difficult experiences and has not come through unmarked but who has grown and matured in the process.

Blue: Soft, soothing, compassionate and caring, Blue is the color of deliberation and introspection, conservatism and duty. Patient, persevering, conscientious, sensitive and self-controlled, Blues like to be admired for their steady character and wisdom. They are faithful, but are often worriers with somewhat inflexible beliefs and can be too cautious, and suspicious of flamboyant behavior.

Blue-Green: Exacting, discriminating, poised and attractive, the Blue-Green person tends to be sensitive, intellectual and refined, persevering and stable if rather detached. Blue-Greens have excellent taste, and are usually courteous and charming, capable but often refusing help or guidance.

Turquoise: Complex, imaginative and original, Turquoise people drive themselves hard and may be in a state of turmoil under their outwardly cool exterior.

Lavender: This is often chosen by a person who lives “on a higher plane,” who never notices anything sordid and who is always impeccably and beautifully dressed. Lavender people may be on a continual quest for culture and the refined things of life, high and noble causes but without the necessity of getting their hands dirty. A Lavender person is usually creative, charming, witty and civilized.

Purple: Purples are highly individual, fastidious, witty and sensitive, with a strong desire to be unique and different. Temperamental, expansive and artistic, a Purple person may become aloof and sarcastic when misunderstood. If you chose Purple, you tend to be unconventional, tolerant and dignified, likely to achieve positions of authority.

Brown: A Brown person has stamina and patience, tending to be very solid and substantial, conscientious, dependable, steady and conservative. Browns are not impulsive, and may be inarticulate and tactless but they love responsibility and are reliable and kindly. If you chose Brown, watch out for a tendency to be obstinate and inflexible.

Gray: The color of caution and compromise, diligent Grays search for composure and peace and often work hard without reward. Older Grays like life to run on an even keel with few ups and downs. Young Grays may be withdrawing from life and suppressing their personalities. Grays often have good business ability and tend to work too much.

Black: Dignified and impressive without being showy, Black people want to give the appearance of mystery, but their preference may also indicate a suppression of desires and worldly aims, suggesting hidden depths and inner longings.


Monday, June 6, 2011

10 ways to tell if the person you’re in love is commitment phobia...


Have you ever asked yourself, what is commitment phobia?

Is this a real phobia or just hype or another made up reason why men can’t and won’t commit?

Below are 10 examples to identify commitment phobia.

Most describe it as if they are in a prison or a trap and they can’t get out. But the reality is that the Commitment Phobe is doing this to him/herself for fear of rejection or loss of a relationship.

  • A commitment phobic person will find it hard to commit or to make a commitment to anything with family, friends or significant other if it isn’t in his/her agenda. Even if it’s a small task. They may often feel that you’re taking their personal time.
  • Commitment phobia can hold a person back from meeting their goals in life. Because things that they want the most they fear the most. (Closeness, togetherness, and unity) But yet their fear is so intense this is what they run from.
  • A commitment phobic person may often prefer to be single but not always stay single. They will commit to relationships but they never fully commit or if they do they hold back and will never be with that person 100%. There is always a certain part of their lives that stay private. This will make him/her feel more in control. Therefore, this will cause a lot of problems in any committed relationship.
  • By not committing to something 100% it leaves more control in the commitment phobic’s hands. Control feeds the commitment phobic’s illness. It acts as a safety net or an out when needed.
  • Commitment phobia people often want the same thing in life love and security, but once they get it they run. Something about routine that causes him to run. Usually this person starts to feel pressure and will look for reasons to sabotage what they have and once he/she can justify this in his or her mind, he then will walk away often blaming the other person.
  • When in a commitment phobic relationship you may be able to tell by the level of intimacy that this person will allow you to share with him/her. This level is always on the commitment phobic’s terms. The commitment phobic will only let you get so close. He/she may even marry you, but if he/she is not aware of his/her commitment phobic behavior, your marriage will be a lonely one.
  • Commitment phobics are usually procrastinators especially when it comes to large purchases. Purchasing a house, car anything that is long term it will frighten them to death and often force them to run. A lease a term or a contract is often viewed as a trap to a commitment phobic. Again, this is the illness when they feel trapped and then they run.
  • Living with a commitment phobic person can be devastating to a non commitment phobic partner. The commitment phobic person will always hold back and it’s very rare that they will move forward and grow in a healthy way in their marriage or relationships. Commitment phobic people are often seclusive, have very few close relationships and often make excuses as to why. It’s a viscous circle and it can become a ball of confusion for a non commitment phobic person.
  • The truth is most commitment phobs are afraid of commitment because of his/her insecurity. They are afraid of being hurt or giving their all in fear that he or she could be let down or even fail.
  • The most important thing to remember is a commitment phobic person will pick fights constantly when things are going well, this many times is his/her out when things are going to well.
If you feel that you could be commitment phobic or feel that you know someone who could be, the good news is there is help for this illness.

Ten Signs He Really Loves You


Do you want to know whether he really loves you? There are so many telltale signs that will indicate your boyfriend really cares about you, but here are the top ten sure signs to check whether your relationship will stand the test of time.

1. He Looks Into Your Eyes When You Talk
This sign is all about the body language. If he looks into your eyes when you talk, you know he is paying full attention to you. Obviously, this is not always practical for every conversation, especially if you are driving somewhere. However, whenever you really want to have a heart to heart discussion, he gives you his full attention, by turning his body towards you, and watching the expression on your face. This is a sign he wants to know what you are really thinking.

2. He Wants To Know About You
If your boyfriend asks about your past, your dreams, your desires (not just sexual), your wants, your needs, how you feel inspired, what you love, or anything about you that relates to your thoughts intimately as an individual, you can be very sure that he wants what is best for you. This is a very good indication he loves you.

3.
He Gives You Cuddles and Caresses
While touch is more important to some people than others, casual touches that are not necessarily sexual in nature are definitely signs he is letting you know that he loves you. If he wants to hold your hand when you walk anywhere together, you can be sure he is saying with his body language that he wants to be with you.

4. He Can Comfort You When You Have a Bad Day
This is one of the most important indicators of a relationship that will stand the test of time. If you feel you can automatically turn to him when 'times are tuff', and he is able to give you comfort and help you to feel better, not worse, you have a guy who really loves you. If he gets uncomfortable when you are upset, or doesn’t know what will comfort you, he is not really putting you first in the relationship. If he at least tries to comfort you, there is hope for the future.

5. He Gives You the Best Presents
Presents do not have to be expensive to be heartfelt. A present can be as simple as an email, a homemade card, or a wildflower picked from the roadside. The essence of this sign is that whenever he does give you a present, whether it is for a special event such as a birthday, or if it is just an off the cuff small gift, it is a gift that means something to you personally. He shows he cares about you by the depth of thought that goes into what you will like and he delights in giving you gifts that you just love.

6. He Makes You Feel Special
Giving you compliments about how beautiful you look is one way he will make you to feel special. It may just be that simple phone call, an email, or even a formal love letter. Whatever he does, he wants to give you pleasure and to build you up as a person. He wants to make you feel like you are the most wonderful woman in the world.

7. He Wants You to Meet His Friends and Wants to Meet Yours
Meeting friends is about wanting to be a part of each other’s lives. If he wants to meet your friends, and spends time getting to know the people who are important in your life, he really does love you. If he enjoys being with your friends, and makes you feel comfortable and a part of the group when you are with his friends, you can be sure he wants to be in your life for a long time.

8. He Makes You Laugh and Enjoy Life
You actually look forward to spending time with him, because you know you will have fun. Being able to laugh together and have fun is part of every good relationship. If he cannot share the joy of life with you easily, he won’t be able to cope with the hard times that will inevitably come your way too. Even in the difficult times, he somehow can make you smile, through your tears. This is because he loves you and wants you to be happy. He gets a joy from seeing the excitement and pleasure in your expression, so he works to make you laugh.

9.
He Loves Spending Time with You
He treats you as his best friend. He can be quite happy spending time with just the two of you, and doesn’t have to have a million other people around all the time. He makes excuses to see you, and just thoroughly enjoys being around you. He tells you his own thoughts, dreams, and is able to share ideas with you comfortably. He also turns to you when he is sad, or needs comfort too.

10. He Says He Loves You
Okay, it can be very easy to say those three words “I love you”, but if he says it when you are not expecting it, or if he says it first, he wants to tell you that he really cares about you. If he only says I love you when he wants to be physically intimate with you, or if you always say it first, and he only says it in reply, because that is what you expect, he may not really care deeply. He may not even need to say the words, because he knows you know how he feels about you, but just has to say it anyway.

If you see evidence of these ten signs in your relationship, and you know the signs are done without purpose or gain, your relationship is built on the foundation of true love:)

You can be sure of your relationship when he truly wants to please you, and honestly shows that he enjoys being with you in many ways :)

Love - 10 Ways To Know If It Is Real

You are experiencing true, real love when...

1. You are giving real love.

You have consciously checked your own intentions for getting involved with the person you are in a relationship with. You desire to give to them on a daily basis without having to get something back in return. You have a desire to reflect the image, and express the essential nature of God in your relationship.

2. There is stability in the relationship.

Your feelings, or rather your actions toward one another, do not change in the face of adversity. You still hold one another in high regard and favour, are tender toward each other, and feel loyal in the midst of storms, tests, and trials in life.

3. You are considerate of one another.

You are both unselfish and take the other's feelings into account before you act. You do not deliberately do anything to harm your significant other. And an apology is swiftly given when one (or both) of you unknowingly or accidentally do or say something to hurt the other.

4. Feelings of resentment, jealousy or discontentment, don't exist.

These feelings don't exist between you two or they are quickly checked, addressed and put in order if they do arise. You both understand the destructive consequences of the relationship becoming damaged or ending if you let these feelings fester and go unchecked. You both wisely choose to trust not in people, but in God to bring you through anything that people can do to you. A belief must exist inside each of you that whatever God can do in the life of others, He surely in His omnipotence can do the same thing & more for you.

5. You two are not arrogant toward the other.
Neither of you speak or act in a manner that dishonors, disregards, or disrespects each other.

6. You don't remain angry at the one you love.

Flying off the handle at the love of your life on a regular basis (or mistreating them because of your own mishandled emotional state) is not an option if you want the relationship to last. Therefore, you both take the necessary steps and measures to ensure that your strong feelings of displeasure dissipate or are appropriately managed as soon as possible. The feelings of fear (and the cause of your fear) that are the source of your feelings of anger are quickly recognized and addressed in order to protect your relationship. You continually act with power, love and a sound mind toward one another.

7. You don't hold grudges.

You don't hold onto and keep rehashing the past. You don't keep score of how many times you were right and how many times your mate was wrong. You refrain from harboring negative feelings toward the one you love.

8. You don't revel, boast, or celebrate when your significant other is in pain

Now you may think "duh" when you read this, but this is an issue in many relationships because a large number of people are hurting, discontent and worn out in their regular everyday lives. As we know, misery loves company. People tend to take pleasure in the low points of others because they don't want to be in the ditch, valley, or pit all by themselves.

9. You tell each other the truth.

You both faithfully, consistently tell the other the truth. Being honest should be the standard in your relationship. Truth spoken in love will bind you two together, whereas lies which lead to mistrust will eventually break the relationship apart. Honesty will cause you to grow in your relationship with one another and mature in your relationship with God. It is both of your relationships with God, who is love that will hold your relationship together. Remember a threefold cord (composed of you, your significant other, and God) is not easily broken.

10. You always look for the best in each other.

Somehow you see the best in your significant other even when or if others around you see the worst. You see beyond where they are now, to the man or woman they can become. You envision their bright future and destiny, and you encourage, exhort, uplift, and partner with one another to get there!

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." - 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (New International Version)
"Real love, true love is giving of oneself and one's resources without expecting anything in return.


Saturday, June 4, 2011

Song 4 Some1


Wonderful lyric...wish i can sing this 2 my man...

Adada En Meethu - Pathinaaru

Adada En Meethu Devathai Vasanai Kaathal Ithuvo
Unnaye Engengum Katchigal Kattidum Kaathal Ithuvo
Unnai Kanum, Varam Pothum Ethirkalam Vasam Vasam Varum
Vazhi Paathai, Maram Yaavum Enakaaga Mazhai Mazhai Tharum
Yaaro Unnai Ennai Yaar Serthatho
Yaaro Vasam Thannai Yaar Parthatho

Uyril Oru Kodi Vanavil Poothidum Kaathal Ithuvo
Ethire Nee Vanthaal Vanavil Thondridum Kaathal Athuvo

Ramiyam Thathumbum Kanavu, Unnai Kandathum Piranthathey
Kangalil Vazhiyum Neeril, Indru, Sakkarai Thiraluthey
Poi Varum Veethiyil Yeno, Puthu Vasanai Kamaluthey
Kaathalin Padalai Ingae, Iru Jeeven Paadiduthey

La La La La..
Mounam Vanthu Idiyai Pola, Manathil Meethu Vizhunthadho
Kaathalilae Nammai Nam Izhandoam, Unmai Nam Unarndoam
En Kalandoam, Nam Kanavil, Naam Alainthoam..

Katrinil Alayum Iragu, Entha Paravai Uthirthatho
Kaathalil Mayangum Manthu, Antha Kadavulum Koduthatho
Pootiya Kathavin Idukil, Puthu Velicham Nuzhainthatho
Thaaimaiyin Viralai Kondu, Nammai Kaathalum Varudutho..
Unnai Kanda Naalil Irunthu, Enathu Vaazhkai Kidaithathey
Ennuyirai Thirakum Saavi, Unathu Uyiril Irukuthey
Kaathaliyae Ithu Vaesham Illai, Ingu Petham Illai
Aethum Illai, Pani Thuzhiyil Saayam Illai..

Adada En Meethu Devathai Vasanai Kaathal Ithuvo
Unnaye Engengum Katchigal Kattidum Kaathal Ithuvo
Unnai Kanum, Varam Pothum Ethirkalam Vasam Vasam Varum
Vazhi Paathai, Maram Yaavum Enakaaga Mazhai Mazhai Tharum
Yaaro Unnai Ennai Yaar Serthatho
Yaaro Vasam Thannai Yaar Parthatho

Uyril Oru Kodi Vanavil Poothidum Kaathal Ithuvo
Ethire Nee Vanthaal Vanavil Thondridum Kaathal Athuvo

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p/s:i really wish to translate the lyric in english..but im not good in translating em'...lolz